The big movie news this week: Jackie Earle Haley IS Freddy Krueger. Haley, last seen as the psycho vigilante Rorschach in Watchmen, will strap on the rusty razor glove and pizza-cheese face in Platinum Dunes’ remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street. This is inspired casting; I just wish Michael Bay would be as inspired in his choice of directors. Almost every single fucking remake done by Dunes has featured a music video director at the helm, including ANOES’s Samuel Bayer. To Bayer’s credit, he’s actually got a pretty extensive resume, which includes the classic Nirvana video Smells Like Teen Spirit, but does this mean he’s qualified to remake one of the most seminal horror movies of all time? Furthermore, if you’re going to remake a classic Mr. Bay, why not grow some brass balls and allow an established director to put his own spin on it? Or let someone from the amazing new crop of international directors (including those from the “new wave” of French horror) take a crack at it.

After watching Martyrs this past week, it was a no-brainer that director Pascal Laugier is the perfect choice to helm the upcoming redux of Hellraiser. But for Bayer, I find it hard to believe that Bay and co. sat down, watched a couple of Cranberries videos, and said “Fuck Craven! This is our guy!” I’d like to believe the producers at Platinum Dunes see something in these directors that we don’t, because the alternative – that these guys are hired because they’re cheap, glossy, and willing to tow the company line – is a pisser.