Thursday, May 28, 2009

Reboots and Luaus

Holy shit! It's been almost a month since I've posted... i'm quite the busy prick these days. More on that in a bit, but first, I wanna talk about REBOOT.

Nah, not those cheap ass CGI turds. Reboots. Hollywood style. I remember first hearing that dreaded word during the filming of Batman Begins. Back then, the concept seemed new and exciting, and for the most part, reboots have worked. Batman, Casino Royale, and Star Trek have all been hugely successful both commercially and financially. But like with all good things, eventually Hollywood's gotta milk that sow's tits dry.

I kinda knew things were going downhill when they announced a "reboot" of Friday the 13th. Scratch your heads along with me folks, because you probably thought what I did - EVERY fucking Jason movie is essentially a reboot. I mean, Jesus H. Crisco, we've had 8 actors or something playing Jason, and Jason in various states of decay and usually in different clothes in every flick. He always winds up sunk and the bottom of Crystal Lake, yet he always emerges in the next flick in a fresh set of shambles. Perhaps Momma Voorhees threw his armoire in the lake after he drowned.

Anyways, the point is that a reboot was pointless. Every movie was the same... Jason rises from the grave, and starts cleaving guys from neck to nuts (or for the ladies, mouth to muff). It's the same fucking plot. Yet, brand it a reboot, and suddenly its all new again. Bullshit.

Now comes word out of those patient, artistically inclined geniuses at FOX (insert sarcastic prick emoticon here) that a "reboot" of Alien is in the works. First off, WHY? It's a FUCKING ALIEN MOVIE! Here's the jist of it for you guys at Fox, in case you're reading: the alien gets in your chest, bursts out, grows up, and eats your ass. Add slight variations in both the number of aliens and Sigourney Weaver's hair, and that's pretty much it. Sequel? Why yes please. You don't even have to get Siggy back, just find a new group to be terrorized. Reboot? Fuck you.

"Reboot" has become the new catchphrase for coke-addled knuckleheads in Hollywood to add to their cliche dictionary - the one that includes words like "downsizing" and "Synergy" and "thinking outside of the box".

The Alien franchise doesn't need a reboot or a reimagining. It just needs a) a good director. Not some music video directing flake either, and b) a studio willing to let that director bring their vision to life free of studio heads buggering the shit out of it. Then, Mr. Fox Rothman Dude, you'll have a successful movie. Oh, and put this baby in it. He rocks.

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ZOMBIE LUAU!

Back to the reason for my lack of blogging goodness... I've been prepping what I hope to be one kick ass, ghoultastic, flesh ripping, poi-tastic party - our Zombie Luau!

In case you haven't heard, on Saturday, June 13th, DEDfest: Hellberta's Horror Festival, is screening Lucio Fulci's tropical gut-busting, eye-popping grindhouse classic "ZOMBIE" at Metro Cinema. In glorious pristine 35mm courtesy of our good friends at Media Blasters.

But no, we're not just showing the movie... we've got loads of shits and shenanigans. Luau contests, trailer reels, and prizes galore are in store for you folks, along with (as Kev calls it) SWEET SWEET ALCOHOL. And if you wanna win prizes, you gotta get zombified. But we don't want just any old ordinary zombie costumes; we want you going Luau style! Dress up those flesh wounds with a sexy grass skirt. Add a groovy Hawaiian shirt to compliment that exposed brain. Have fun, and the more creative the better.

Advance tickets will be on sale at the Lobby VERY SOON! Stay posted to our DEDfest, Zombie Luau, and Welcome to dEdmonton pages for info.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not so critical on reboots but I cut them more slack then most people do... because I refuse to compare them to the original film... instead I compare them to the last film in the series.

Batman Begins didn't have to go up against Batman (1989) it had to go up against Batman & Robin (1997). Rob Zombie's Halloween wasn't up against Halloween (1978) it just had to be better then Halloween H20 and Halloween Resurrection.

In the same token... when I looked at F13... I only held it to the standards set by Jason X.. and when Alien's reboot comes out it will go up against Alien Resurrection.

In the end a reboot is just somewhere between a sequel and a remake with retcon to redefine the mythology. Where as it is largely being done for profits... in the end I'd rather a sampled reboot to another remake or a sequel bogged down by the bs of a franchise beat into the ground.

They shouldn't be compared to the classic films which got us hooked... instead compare them to the current state of any given franchise and most fans will welcome the restart.

DC Comics had it's Crisis on Infident Earths and then more recently Zero Hour. Marvel Comics made it's Ultimate Universe. As I like to think of it... a franchise is like an apple... crisp with the first bite but quick to turn brown and get mushy. If you keep the apple on the counter and take a bite every once and a while eventually it will rot. If you want to keep it.. make apple sauce so you can jar some for a better shelf life. You never get that crisp bite back... but I'd rather apple sauce then rotten fruit anyday.

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