Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Top Terrors of 2010!
1:02 PM | 
Posted by
Batboy
I’m not normally too keen on doing these things as it seems every blogger or critic is spewing out their own top ten lists, but this year has definitely called for a look back – not just in terms of film, but life in general. 2010 wasn’t what I would call a “good” year, but it has been a year of accomplishments. Those accomplishments came despite major obstacles.
We bookended the year with two big sell-outs – January’s screening of The Thing and December’s premiere of Rare Exports. And despite having to change our dates and compete against the Fringe Fest, DEDfest was better attended than in 2009. Thanks to all you sick fuckers for continuing your support this year.
I personally learned some harsh lessons this year that have made me stronger and wiser. We do DEDfest because Kevin and I love horror films and our city’s wicked horror fans. But I also have an ulterior motive. As a member of this city’s film and TV industry, I want to see it grow. For me, DEDfest has provided an opportunity to highlight this city as both a great place to watch horror movies AND make horror movies too. If we build on, and showcase our city’s amazing genre community, we could both grow local talent and draw the best in the genre to film in our city (incidentally, Darren Bousman, who was here with Fear Itself, filmed recently in Winnipeg).
The lesson learned? If you try to renovate a small pond, the big fish will get pissed off. Big fish like being big fish and sometimes they like making sure little guppies like me stay small and edible. As a result of pissing off a big fish, I spent most of 2010 semi/unemployed. I went “from Guinness to Lucky Lager” as an acquaintance so eloquently put it.
Plus we nearly lost the damn festival. Venue renos meant that in order to put DEDfest on in 2010, we had to find an alternate location. In a town with only one independent theatre (don’t listen to what those guys on the south side tell ya... they’re a chain), it’s an almost impossible feat. Yet with the help and support of our friends and partners at Metro Cinema, the city’s awesome underground community, and you the fans, we were able to bring you DEDfest again.
There were more obstacles... too many to mention. As many of you know, i’ll be spending much of 2011 in a different city. I’ve decided to head to Vancouver, where I can hopefully get enough ammo under my belt to come back here for a figurative shootout with those who, for ego-based reasons, don’t wanna see the film industry grow out here. I’m kicking the big fish out of our small pond, and making a goddamn lake.
But enough about the old pigeon-feeding fuckers. Here are my favourite genre films of 2010! Please note that although I program a horror film fest, I didn’t get as many films as I wanted to this year. As a result, I missed out on a number of films that might have easily captured a spot or two... films like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, Phobia 2, The Loved Ones, The Last Lovecraft, Insidious, Rubber, Cold Fish, and I Saw the Devil. Here’s hoping these films get to our fair city in 2011.
Black Swan
Holy shit did this film come out of nowhere and knock me on my ass. I’ve been a modest fan of director Darren Aronofsky’s work, but Black Swan floored me. What starts out as an edgier version of Altman’s ballet film The Company turns into the type of body-horror flick that Cronenberg would have made. And Natalie Portman gives a stunning performance as the tightly wound, crumbling lead ballerina. Her very face, as beautiful as it is, looks like it’s about to crack apart in nearly every frame. And the lesbian scene between Portman and Mila Kunis is worth the price of admission alone.
Piranha 3D
Fuck James Cameron. What happened to the guy who used to love our genre? What happened to the director that made The Terminator and Aliens (and Piranha 2)? It seems his little 3D smurf film gave him a case of the snobbies, evidenced by his criticism of this popcorn flick. In addition to the hate on from the self professed “king of the world”, the film was criminally underseen. Why audiences flocked to shittily post-converted 3D versions of Last Airbender and Alice in Wonderland, yet stayed away from a film that embraced and used to the utmost the latest 3D tech is beyond me. Was the 3D in this film more of a gimmick? Hell yes. And it worked. Seeing the lesbian 3D underwater swim scene was worth the price of admission alone.
Machete
Despite the financial failure of 2006’s Grindhouse, the exploitation boom is still going strong. 2010 brought us the first bit of glory promised by that film’s many fake trailers, and it was glorious indeed. What was originally supposed to be a direct-to-DVD film soon began drawing the likes of Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, and Steven Seagal. With an all-star cast, over the top direction from Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, and one stone cold Mexi-killer performance from Danny Trejo, Machete was the crowd-pleaser to beat for the year. And the lesbian scene between Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez was worth the price of admission alone. Wait, that part was in my head.
The Human Centipede: First Sequence
I had no idea what to expect with this film. It entered the pop-culture consciousness like no other horror film had all year; it was even referenced by TV talk show hosts. Thankfully, the film lived up to the hype, mainly due to the performance by Dieter Laser (yes that’s his name) as the mad scientist intent on making a fleshy, poopy masterpiece. The film wasn’t nearly as gory as it could have been, yet it polarized the audience at this year’s DEDfest screening. Let’s see what director Tom Six has in store for us with 2011’s Second Sequence.
I Spit on Your Grave
Besides Machete, this was the other great crowd pleaser of 2010. Many criticized the film as being too “Saw-like”, but I loved the fact that the film turfed the original’s uncomfortable attempts at titillation and made it a balls-out revenge flick. The rape scene was suitably unpleasant, making the kill scenes all the more satisfying. Anal shotgun rape? Check. Eye gouging? Check. Requisite manhood mutilation? Motherfucking check. And Sarah Butler gave a performance one step above the typical scream queen and created a character I would gladly see in numerous sequels... perhaps this is Death Wish for a new generation? If you missed it in August, check it out when it hits Blu Ray this February.
Doghouse
One of my biggest regrets of 2010 was that i couldn’t bring this film to the big screen here in Edmonton. The best Zom-Com since Shaun of the Dead, Doghouse shows how good a horror film can be when all the characters are worth investing in. In addition to a great cast, wickedly inventive makeup effects (the best Deadites since Army of Darkness) and a fun story, its also the ultimate bloke’s film - a great movie to watch with some good buddies and beer.
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
Another film that surprised the shit out of me (and helped us sell out the Metro this December!) was Rare Exports, a yuletide horror flick out of Finland that despite the dark subject matter, actually succeeded in being a great holiday film. Although light on gore (and heavy on old man penis), Rare Exports felt like the kind of film Joe Dante would have made in between The Howling and Gremlins. My only complaint: I wanted to see what the real Santa looked like!
The Crazies
While working on Fear Itself in 2008, I had the chance to talk with Breck Eisner. The only work Eisner had done up until that point was the modest but serviceable adventure flick Sahara, but I knew he was remaking the Romero classic, so I had to ask him about it. After chatting with him in the lunch room, I was pleasantly surprised because he seemed to get it. He wasn’t just a hired gun like the Platinum Dunes hacks, Eisner seemed to be a genuine, reverent fan of the original. And when the film finally came out in early 2010, my suspicions that Eisner had done good were proven. While the original played on people’s newly formed mistrust of government, the remake took things even further and played with our modern age’s many paranoias and fears – fears of disease, terrorism, our own military and even our own neighbours. And it delivers on the sauce and scares.
Never Sleep Again
It’s funny (and sad) that a documentary on the Nightmare On Elm Street series was ten times more entertaining than the remake. The most comprehensive, yet well paced film documentary I’ve seen in a long time, NSA brought up things about the Elm Street series I never knew – like the extent of Peter Jackson’s involvement. The interviews were refreshingly candid as well, especially with regards to the working relationship between original director Wes Craven and New Line head honcho Robert Shaye. A must see for all horror fans.
[REC]2
[REC]2 was the rare follow-up that not only expands on the original, but takes the franchise in a whole new direction. By following up on a minor plot detail in the first (a detail that was completely ignored in the US remake), this standard but chilling zombie flick becomes a demonic thriller a la Prince of Darkness. I was happy as the front end of a human centipede that we got to screen this off a glorious 35mm print this August.
Bonus: Splice
I finally caught this fantastic creature feature late in 2010, and loved it. Like an art house version of Species, Splice kept the gore red and the sex ample, yet had some very eloquent warnings about the dangers of science going too far. It preached the old “don’t play God” lesson without being preachy. Kudos to the KNB team for a great creature – a mix of practical makeup and CGI that I hope will be remembered come Oscar season, and extra kudos to awards darling Adrien Brody for taking on this and three other genre films this year (Predators, The Experiment, and the unfortunate Giallo).
Honourable mentions: Predators, Night of the Demons, House of the Devil, Black Death
The Shitheap:
Suicide Girls Must Die
They can’t all be winners, as we discovered when we screened this in June. A slasher flick with naked, tattooed chicks as victims should have been a no-brainer. Instead, it was a film programmer’s lesson on why you should always get a screener first. The filmmakers couldn’t decide if they wanted to make a legitimate slasher or a promotional video for the website. Skimping on the gore didn’t help either. And none of them even die at the end! That shit worked for April Fools Day because the characters were somewhat endearing. When you bill your film as Suicide Girls Must Die, then subject the audience to 90 minutes of exposition without any payoff... well that’s a hand job without a happy ending.
Nightmare on Elm Street
The genius casting of Jackie Earle Haley in the role of Freddy couldn’t save this piss stained mattress of a film. In fact, Haley seemed to be the only one to care about this tepid remake. Apparently the producers went to director Samuel Bayer three times to make this film. And it shows. Bayer not only sleepwalks through this flick, he downright denigrates the originals. I’ve heard him in interviews say that he felt the original’s dream sequences were uninspired. Yet with a huge FX budget at his disposal, he pisses away any opportunity to be frightening. Despite the fact that they were milking the original series to death, at least New Line tried to keep each installment somewhat fresh. With the remake, we got the answer to the question “How the fuck can you make a Freddy movie boring?”
The Wolfman
Well, i gotta admit that i stayed away from a lot of the shit this year, so my worst list is relatively light. The Wolfman probably falls more into the “biggest disappointment” category. Man... I really wanted to like this film. The transformation scenes were pretty decent (although the best transformation since American Werewolf in London is in Trick ‘r’ Treat), the film was atmospheric and moody, and Anthony Hopkins was a hoot to watch onscreen. Why did it fail? Upon viewing the original, I realized what made it – and other transformation movies like Cronenberg’s The Fly – so resonant. Lon Chaney Jr.’s Larry Talbot is a nice guy cursed with being a monster. You like the guy... he’s got that hang dog face and natural charm that makes the ladies want to date him and the dudes want to sling beers with him. There’s a horror to watching a nice guy become a beast against his will. In the remake, Benicio Del Toro’s Talbot is an asshole from start to finish. In fact, he’s less of a mopey arrogant dick as a wolf. Whether that’s a fault of Del Toro or the screenplay, it makes for a less engaging film.
Favourite Non-Horror Films of 2010:
Toy Story 3
The scene where the toys, nearly meeting their demise, hold hands for what they think could be the last time, is as harrowing, heart warming, and Oscar-worthy a scene as any of the usual arthouse awards bait. If this film doesn’t get a best picture nomination the voters should be relegated to the “old toys home”.
Jackass 3D
Whoever thought a 3 foot vertical shit, dildos fired from air cannons, and a homemade “helicockter” could outdo Avatar? Jackass 3D used Cameron’s technology to its fullest, and showed that unless you use 3D to make your movie more fun, you’re just gouging the audience for an extra three bucks.
Hot Tub Time Machine
Although it was unfavorably compared to The Hangover, the team of John Cusack, Craig Robinson, Rob Cordry and Clark Duke were funnier and more likeable than their Vegas counterparts. A perfect ode to the 80’s – reverential and retro without feeling out of date, the film even manages to poke fun at some of Cusack’s early work. And Cordry steals the show like no one else did in 2010.
The Social Network
I was on the fence about this one, but at the end of the day only David Fincher could take something as dull sounding as the creation of Facebook and make it as engaging as a heist film, as volatile as a gangster flick, and as hyperkinetic as an action movie. And believe it or not, Justin Timberlake is actually very good in this. But really, why this is on my list? The score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Finch. The fact that we may see Mr. Nine Inch Nail onstage at the Oscars is one of the finest achievements of the year.
Inception
Sure, it’s overrated somewhat (see the South Park episode), and it suffers from a gaping plothole (why didn’t Cobb just have his Dad fly the kids to France?), but Inception turned out to be one of those films I could watch over and over again. Special note to Joseph Gordon Levitt, who, if Nolan ever has the balls to replace Heath Ledger, is the only choice for me in the role of the Joker. Hearing Hans Zimmer’s bombastic (and now iconic) score on the big screen didn’t hurt either.
The A-Team
I loved this show when I was a runt, so I thoroughly expected to be disappointed by the film. But kudos to Joe Carnahan for getting it right and assembling a cast with enough chemistry to shine through the bombastic ridiculousness of this big budget action flick. Sharlto Copley as Howlin’ Mad Murdock steals this one. (and kudos to the art direction Mr. Gallagher!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Black Christmas remake love bitches!
I'm sitting here at 3AM watching one of my favorite christmas films - and one of my guilty pleasure horror flicks - Black Christmas. Not the Bob Clark original. The 2006 remake. Yes all you hateful bitches, I love the remake. I love it better than the original. In fact, I'll be so sacrilegious as to say I thought the original was... well... a bit dull. John Carpenter did a much better job of Black Christmas with his Halloween (which incidentally was supposed to be a sequel to Clark's film). The remake is much better paced, has some very creative gore gags, and doesn't take itself too seriously. It has a wicked sense of humor that was sorely lacking in the original.
The plot? Pretty much the same. Billy Lenz escapes from the asylum and stalks a bunch of sorority girls living in the house where he once committed his ghastly deeds. Much deadness ensues. What did they improve on? Well, the first was all tension and mood, which when done right has a heavy impact. Mood and tension are definitely lost here. But director Glen Morgan (an X-Files alum) replaces the tension with gore and humor. Seriously, there's a lot of fun grue in this flick. There's stabbings aplenty, impalements, strangulations, fleshy gingerbread cookies, scalpings by ice skate, and enough eye trauma to make Lucio Fulci proud.
Also, as mentioned before, the flick has a great sense of humor. Sure, unlike the '74 BC, its hard to like any of these sorority bitches (except Andrea Martin, who starred in the original and cameos here) but that makes their deaths all the more enjoyable. Plus, they take a creative approach to the use of cell phones. In most modern horror flicks, the use - or uselessness - of cell phones is usually explained by "oh, no service" or some other lame excuse. In this movie, not only do cell phones work, but they are used by the killer to stalk and torment his prey. In the original, Billy made a few crank calls to the house's old rotary. In the remake, Billy steals each victim's cell and uses them to terrify and confuse each new target. Sure, there are other plot holes, but the fact that the producers dealt with a common horror cliche in such a creative manner was refreshing.
The film is not without its flaws. In typical remake fashion, they spend way too much time giving the killer a backstory to explain his motives. Couldn't we just leave it at "Billy went nuts and killed his family"? Instead, the producers felt it necessary to tack on a whole abusive mom angle. Plus there's a whole incest scene i could have done without. In a film with, for the most part, a great sense of black humor, the family drama felt out of place.
Also, once nice thing about the original was that they kept the killer hidden for the most part. Just like his origin story, we see way too much of Billy for him to be as menacing as he was in the '74 version.
But these are minor flaws in a great no-brains, popcorn munching, dumb-ass yuletide horror flick. If you've always wanted to decorate your x-mas tree with guts and eyeballs, this is the perfect seasonal treat for you. Pop this on with Santa Slay and rot your brain.
As our Bad Santa Kyle would say, "HO HO MOTHERFUCKIN HO!" Happy Horrordays y'all!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
3D Gimmicks and A-Hole Grifters
So this weekend Clash of the Titans made an estimated $61.2 million across North America. For genre fans like us, this should be a good thing - so why am I so apprehensive? I haven't seen the film yet, but the consensus from the majority of the critics is that while its a decent enough movie, the 3D is fucking atrocious. Here's what the New York Times Mahnola Dargis had to say:
"The 3D in the Clash of the Titans remake, which was added after it was shot, has none of the immersive quality of Avatar and instead segments the image into discrete planes, bringing to mind the unintegrated levels of a pop-up book."
A pop-up book. For an extra five fucking bucks per ticket. Now that Clash and Alice in Wonderland, both using the "post" 3D conversion, have made millions, the fear is that every film will now be pushed through a crappy conversion just to con you from your hard-earned cash. Could we be seeing crap like "Sex in the City 3D" soon? Jesus horse-fucking christ, imagine the thought of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Catrall's old asses in IMAX 3D - that's one scary flick.
Despite the impressive tech wizardry of Avatar, 3D is ultimately a gimmick. If Hollywood wants to keep people in theatres, it needs to go William Castle and embrace the gimmickry. Why was 3D so successful in the 1950s? Because it was used by real showmen to give their audiences a new experience. And why did it die out? Because Hollywood over-saturated the market with cheap-ass 3D films. Same with the 3D resurgence of the 1980's. And with Alice and Titans, it's happening again - studio execs taking a great idea and running the fucker into the ground.
Thankfully, a few horror filmmakers are still embracing the roots of the technology. Patrick Lussier, director of last year's wicked My Bloody Valentine, knows the purpose of 3D - to THROW SHIT AT THE AUDIENCE. As great as an immersive three dimensional environment can be, at the end of the day we go to 3D flicks to duck, bob, and scream as shit flies at our heads. Lussier is following up MBV with a new Nic Cage flick called Drive Angry, a violent, supernatural car chase thriller. While the prospect of Cage's hair in 3D is frightening, Lussier is shooting the film in 3D, not post converting. Chatting with MTV, Lussier said:
"No, none of that post-conversion crap. This is totally shot in 3-D. We have 3-D cameras out from Paradise FX, which are working brilliantly. We're shooting 3-D every day. We're watching all our 3-D effects on every single shot as we shoot."
So what can you, the horror fan do? Like any good consumer, just keep yourself informed. Sites like Ain't It Cool News, Shock Till You Drop. Dread Central, etc. will give you the straight-up on whether a film is worth that extra fiver or not. And while this new 3D trend may just be another fad, just like in the 50's and 80's, let's hope that guys like Lussier can still crank out eye-popping films that do exactly what 3D should do - make us shit our pants.
"The 3D in the Clash of the Titans remake, which was added after it was shot, has none of the immersive quality of Avatar and instead segments the image into discrete planes, bringing to mind the unintegrated levels of a pop-up book."
A pop-up book. For an extra five fucking bucks per ticket. Now that Clash and Alice in Wonderland, both using the "post" 3D conversion, have made millions, the fear is that every film will now be pushed through a crappy conversion just to con you from your hard-earned cash. Could we be seeing crap like "Sex in the City 3D" soon? Jesus horse-fucking christ, imagine the thought of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Catrall's old asses in IMAX 3D - that's one scary flick.
Despite the impressive tech wizardry of Avatar, 3D is ultimately a gimmick. If Hollywood wants to keep people in theatres, it needs to go William Castle and embrace the gimmickry. Why was 3D so successful in the 1950s? Because it was used by real showmen to give their audiences a new experience. And why did it die out? Because Hollywood over-saturated the market with cheap-ass 3D films. Same with the 3D resurgence of the 1980's. And with Alice and Titans, it's happening again - studio execs taking a great idea and running the fucker into the ground.
"No, none of that post-conversion crap. This is totally shot in 3-D. We have 3-D cameras out from Paradise FX, which are working brilliantly. We're shooting 3-D every day. We're watching all our 3-D effects on every single shot as we shoot."
So what can you, the horror fan do? Like any good consumer, just keep yourself informed. Sites like Ain't It Cool News, Shock Till You Drop. Dread Central, etc. will give you the straight-up on whether a film is worth that extra fiver or not. And while this new 3D trend may just be another fad, just like in the 50's and 80's, let's hope that guys like Lussier can still crank out eye-popping films that do exactly what 3D should do - make us shit our pants.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
NEW BLOG BITCHES!!
Hi Gang!
After a lengthy absence, and due to a bout of (temporary) unemployment, I'm back in the blogging saddle. At least for now, until I run out of topics or you get sick of my ass.
Lets just get right into it... there's a shitload of events to cap off the month of March. First off...
NEAR DARK! If you're not familiar with this movie, all you need to know is that it's the first solo directorial effort from this year's Academy Award Winner for Best Director, (the uber hot) Kathryn Bigelow. Plus, its a vampire movie that doesn't involve shirtless, poncing, sparkly models from Details magazine pretending to be creatures of the night. The vamps in this one are of the freaky, southern-fried drifter variety - stone cold killers. As an added bonus, 1/3 of the cast of Aliens are featured.
Don't miss out on a rare 35mm screening of this horror classic, this Friday, March 26, 9PM at Metro Cinema. Tickets are only $10 and available at the box office. We'll have prizes to give away, and as always, drinks will be provided by Filthy McNasty's (where good people do bad things!).
Then on Saturday, we've got not one, but two events involving sexy, kickass girls. Whet your appetite for destruction with the Alberta Six Pack Roller Derby match, where the girls of Eville will take on Calgary in not one, but THREE matches.
The girls will be hitting the track at 6PM, but before that, you can check out Eville's new junior team, showing off their moxie at 5:45. There will be plenty of vendors on hand, and even a wrestling demonstration at halftime!
Tickets are available at all Happy Harbor Comics locations, Megatunes on Whyte Ave, NABI in St Albert, online at rollergirl.ca or email info@e-villederby.com. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Kids 10 and under are FREE
After a lengthy absence, and due to a bout of (temporary) unemployment, I'm back in the blogging saddle. At least for now, until I run out of topics or you get sick of my ass.
Lets just get right into it... there's a shitload of events to cap off the month of March. First off...
Don't miss out on a rare 35mm screening of this horror classic, this Friday, March 26, 9PM at Metro Cinema. Tickets are only $10 and available at the box office. We'll have prizes to give away, and as always, drinks will be provided by Filthy McNasty's (where good people do bad things!).
Then on Saturday, we've got not one, but two events involving sexy, kickass girls. Whet your appetite for destruction with the Alberta Six Pack Roller Derby match, where the girls of Eville will take on Calgary in not one, but THREE matches.
The girls will be hitting the track at 6PM, but before that, you can check out Eville's new junior team, showing off their moxie at 5:45. There will be plenty of vendors on hand, and even a wrestling demonstration at halftime!
Tickets are available at all Happy Harbor Comics locations, Megatunes on Whyte Ave, NABI in St Albert, online at rollergirl.ca or email info@e-villederby.com. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Kids 10 and under are FREE
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Horrible Threads!
Hey gang!
Quick note... Those spooky ladies from Mars & Venus wanted to remind everyone who received the skull coupon at the Dead Snow screening to come visit the shop and save save save. Buy something for yourself or use it towards a holiday gift. New stuff arriving daily. Coupon is good only until Dec 1!! Pop by Mars and Venus... the best store in Edmonton for your horror-related threads and gear.
And in case you didn't get one:
Quick note... Those spooky ladies from Mars & Venus wanted to remind everyone who received the skull coupon at the Dead Snow screening to come visit the shop and save save save. Buy something for yourself or use it towards a holiday gift. New stuff arriving daily. Coupon is good only until Dec 1!! Pop by Mars and Venus... the best store in Edmonton for your horror-related threads and gear.
And in case you didn't get one:
Monday, October 26, 2009
Turkey Shoot: FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN!
Shopping for costumes stressing you out? Let off a little steam and have some fun with FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN!
This Warhol produced cult-classick is screening in 35mm for one night only! With live commentary from two of Edmonton's funniest film connaisseurs!
15 minutes of fame? Try 2 hours of crap! This 1970’s vintage 3-D horror extravaganza contains the classic line “To know death, Otto, you have to f**k life... in the gall bladder!” It’s well known that Dave Clarke has patterned his acting career after the work of Udo Kier, and Jeff Page is intrigued by any film that has a character named Nicholas, the stableboy. Say, boys and girls, let's shoot a turkey for Halloween!
October 28 @ 8PM at Metro Cinema!
http://www.metrocinema.org/film_view/2260/
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